It's really amazing how God gifts different people in different ways to accomplish His purposes. And I started thinking of 1 Corinthians 12:29-30. Imagine if God had made us all preachers. There would be no one to run the church as an administrator. If there were only administrators in the church, there would be no one to preach God's word. If there were no people called as missionaries, the word of God would not be preached to all nations (though God does not need us to spread His message). So it simply amazes me tonight that I am so consciously aware of where my passion and giftedness is as it relates to the church.
I have quite a few friends who are of the type that they would drop everything at a moment's notice to take nothing with them and travel to a foreign (maybe even hostile) country to spread God's word in the traditional sense of the word 'missionary'. I love them all, and I think that's totally awesome, but God has not placed that desire in my heart, at least not at this point. I have too much of a passion for the local church here in America to start thinking of elsewhere.
I continue to see, through individual examples and general movements within America, that America is distancing itself in many ways from God and His teachings. Whether its on abortion or gay marriage or just on being a superficial Christian fake, it seems we all just want to take little samples of Christ and leave significant chunks of the Gospel behind. And as I see this play out, I also see many local churches getting unintentionally caught up in church business, committee meetings, and administrative tasks without going out and changing the city around them. This is where Chris Tomlin's "God of this City" is so powerful. God really is interested in this nation, this state, this town, and each and every one of us in this town. He isn't just focused on the broken and the hurting in far-off places who don't know Him. Those people are just as important, but I hope we never lose focus of the hurt and the pain that is going on at home. And this is where I see God really moving within my own heart.
I talked this evening with a good friend I met in Bridge City nearly 2 years ago. As we talked about where the city and church has gone since I worked a summer at St Paul UMC in the summer of 2007, I just feel God giving me this amazing empathy for this little small town I love so much. Absence truly makes the heart grow fonder. There are so many young adults there I got to know so well over that one summer, and I only get to hear bits and pieces of their lives at a time (and its always secondhand), and I feel totally out of the loop in their lives. The saddest/most exciting thing is that so many of them graduate this year and have so much craziness ahead of them. I can't wait to hear about it, but I wish I could be there to celebrate and to enjoy life with them. And this is where I find my heart and my desire for the local church. I see so many opportunities for spiritual growth and for evangelism that go unheard and unexploited as God just floods my mind with ideas. It's an amazing stream of consciousness He has going on right now. I'm totally in flux right now trying to figure out where the Spirit will lead this, but I'm totally stoked right now that I'm even here, blissfully lost in God's provision.
I wish I could explain it better, more clearly, less vaguely. But I am trying to make out the whole picture as we speak. I can't wait to see where it leads, but I'm trusting that God will take it to fruition when it is time. I'll be in Bridge City (hopefully) before very long, and I will especially be there in the summer when graduation happens. Can't wait!
I seriously cannot fathom the love of God at this moment because my heart is overflowing like rarely before with absolute, unrelenting love for my youth in Bridge City, Texas. And yet I know it is but a shadow, but a hazy copy, but a small fraction of the everlasting love of God.
Amazing love, how can it be? That you my King would die for me... Man I love that song. It draws me nearer to God whenever I hear it. God, you are the "light that's leading me." I have chosen so many times to put 'idols' before you, whether they be other guys I respect, women I adore, professional success, financial gain or personal desires. Lord, throw them aside. How can I stand here and not be moved by You? You are my light, my life, my very Strength in the depths of my soul. The last few weeks have tested me to the core. I have not rested in Your peace, Lord. I confess that I have been tested and found wanting. But you have remained faithful. You brought me a strong believer to counsel me, to coach me, to remind me that You are in control, that You have my best at heart, that You take care of me even that much more than the sparrows. I find myself coming to you with nothing to offer You that you do not already have, and yet I see Your beautiful smile as You say "That's exactly my point." You show me Your approval and Your acceptance, in spite of it all. You call me Your son. And it is good, even in a world full of hurt, pain and destruction. Because You are above it all. You have a plan for it all. You are here to redeem it. You don't get overwhelmed as I do. You don't despair as I do. You grieve for the world as I do, but on a scale I could never understand. Your sovereignty blows way past me. How could it be like this Lord? Help me to fall on my knees, seek Your face, love You and Your people, and be motivated to display You for a waiting and watching world, Lord. Use me. Send me. Open my heart to the broken, the hurt, the needy. Remind me each day that just because a person wears a suit and tie and lives an expensive lifestyle does NOT mean that person isn't broken or hurt or needy. Move in my life to help me love You more. I have seen the depths of myself, and I need You to work to be satisfied in You. I can't magically change it. I don't have that power. You do. God, may the local church be uplifted this day and be the light that You designed it to be, a light that is not hid but is shown to a waiting community, a waiting world.
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