Humility was a big topic of discussion this week at Wednesday group at The Table... and rightfully so. If there's one thing not named Jesus a leader MUST have if he/she is to be a successful Christian leader, it must be the type of humility on display in Philippians 2:1-11. Not coincidentally, I think verse 12 and following flows naturally out of those who fit the character of someone from Philippians 2:1-11. It is those who are the most humble, who look to the interests of others first, who consider others better than themselves... they are the ones who shine like stars in the midst of a depraved generation (ours and every other generation before it). Furthermore, pride is perhaps the most insidious of vices within the context of a church group, often piggybacking on other issues between believers to further drive them apart.
The more I contemplate this topic, the more the Lord impresses on my mind the firm belief that those who lead best spend the most time on their knees. I don't just mean in prayer, either. I think we all agree, at least intellectually if not in practice, that a solid Christian leader needs to spend a good amount of time in prayer. What I mean in this instance is in asking forgiveness, going in humility to a fellow brother or sister and asking for forgiveness for some offense committed against him or her. This happens because good leaders are more outspoken, more honest, more bold, more loving in all ways to their fellow believers. As a result, simply due to our sinful nature and the increased number of interactions with others on tough subjects, we'll inevitably mess up, be rude, get confused, say the wrong thing, or in some other way offend the brother or sister we were merely trying to confront with the truth in love.
I certainly see this occurring in my life as I step out in faith to have those tough conversations. Sometimes, what I say is exactly what the other person needs to hear, is said in true love and compassion, and is done in the right circumstance; thus, no need for apologies. But on other occasions, what I'm saying to the person is still some truth that they need to hear, but it's done with a rude, prideful or arrogant tone, it's handled inappropriately by bringing in other people not related to the situation, the message is confused, or in some other way the confrontation is mishandled. These are the increased situations where humble leaders must proverbially get on their knees and ask forgiveness of the offended party.
This isn't meant to cover all situations of course. There will be times where the confrontation is handled extraordinarily well, and the other person simply does not handle the bad news well and is offended by the message rather than by the delivery. I do not mean to imply that it is necessarily to fall on one's knees begging forgiveness simply at the other's offense. One must discern whether it was your own personal approach to the problem that was offensive or the person's own issue before considering whether an apology is needed.
I hope this isn't confusing. I'm not sure my explanation is crystal clear... I guess my point boils down to this: More confrontation (in love) will inevitably lead to more friction; a good leader realizes this, identifies areas where his/her motives or actions are causing this friction and humbles himself before others when he or she steps out of line.
One of my top 5 favorite verses in all of Holy Scripture:
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." - Proverbs 27:6
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